I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
