My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
