i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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