she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
