Im at strip club and am horny
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I touched a dick in church today
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
