It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
