I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
