OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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