He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize