Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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