I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
