i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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