Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
