i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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