By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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