If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
