Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize