i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Michael Bay diarrhea
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
