I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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