I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
