We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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