omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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