I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
