i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
