talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
