people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
