Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
