One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
