Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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