Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
