I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
