so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
