So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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