dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
