and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
