So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
