I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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