just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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