Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
