There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
