Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
