Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
so much tequila, so little girl.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
