i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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