He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
