Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
