if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
