We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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