just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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