I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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