I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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