the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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