its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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