Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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