I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Randomize
