I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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