Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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