Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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