Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
