What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
